Damned
by staffy08
Summary: After John leaves teenage Sam and Dean in a motel to go on a hunt by himself, the brothers get into a spot of trouble….
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: After John leaves teenage Sam and Dean in a motel to go on a hunt by himself, the brothers get into a spot of trouble…._

Damned

„Sammy! You get back here now or I'll kick your ass into next year!"

Halting in your pursuit of him you watch, open mouthed, as he completely ignores your threat and continues to across the motel parking lot and in the direction of the road.

"Come on Dean, we can play soccer over there on that field!"

He didn't even turn around – the cheek. Doesn't anyone have manners these days? *cough, cough*

"You don't even have a ball Sammy!"

Hehe, bet he didn't think of that – amateur.

"Don't worry Dean, I have a plan!"

"Sammy, if history has taught us one thing then it's that those two phrases can never come true at the same time, let alone be used in the same sentence!"

"Come on Dean!"

"Sammy I mean it. If you get run over by a car don't think I'll dispose of your corpse, you can lie there and rot for all I care. That's what happens when you don't listen to your older brother!"

Soccer? Why on earth did he want to play soccer? It's one of the stupidest games on the planet. There's twenty-two wanna be models running around after one ball for ninety minutes with nothing more in their heads than the six figure paycheck their gonna get at the end of the year. There's more excitement watching Oprah interview Tom Cruise.

Realization dawns on you that you are in fact standing in a public place shouting threats at a _seemingly_ innocent young boy. But then again you never could give a toss about what other people think of you, why start now?

"Sammy! Dad put me in charge for the next four days. If you get in trouble I'll be the one hearin' about it, now get your mop headed self back to that motel room, _right now_!"

Damn that kid for being immune to your threatening Dean Winchester tone. A tone that could make babies cry, stones crumble, kittens forget to land on anything but their heads and give heart attacks to any spirit that may cross your path. All right, cool it. Your startin' to sound like the intro into that awful Hercules series.

I'm going on a hunt, he said. Don't want you two in on this one, he said. Stay at this motel, he said. Look after your brother, he said. I'll come get you in about four days, he said. He _never_ damned well said anything about how to control a teenage boy that is about as predictable as which color sunglasses Elton John is gonna wear next.

The screeching of tires jolts you back to reality in time to witness some truck driver get out of his truck and start shouting and cursing at your little brother for running across the road in front of him.

"What the hell are you playin' at kid? I nearly fucking well ran you over you idiot!"

Idiot?! 'Aint nobody allowed to call your brother an idiot except you! You start to jog towards the truck in order to give the guy what for.

"Oi Grandpa! Who you callin' an idiot?"

Oh whoopsy. Jesus Christ. It's like standing opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger, if he says _anything_ about Sarah Connor you're running in the opposite direction – pride be damned.

"Grandpa?! Why you little prick."

"'Aint nothin' little about me mister. Which is more than can be said for yourself."

You take your eyes off his for the briefest of moments in order to indicate the certain part of his anatomy to which you were referring.

"Or do you think that your bulging beer gut makes up for that?"

Bulging? Ha. The only thing bulging about him are his biceps.

You hold back a slight snigger of laughter at the site of him, he looks like he just jumped out of a cartoon. Legs apart, fists clutched, breathing heavily, his face as red as a tomato making him look ready to explode at any given moment and unless you were seeing things or had simply watched too many cartoons today, then there was smoke coming out of his ears.

"You've got guts, I'll give you that."

"Well thank you very much. I really appreciate that compliment, usually people just call me crazy."

"Crazy?"

"Yeah, you know, insane, a fruit cake, doo lalee, missing' my marbles, a few screws loose, nine kinds of crazy, whacko, not in control of ones own thoughts, mad, on route to the loony bin, straight off the banana boat, three fries short of a happy meal… feel free to jump in any time won't ya."

"I've never hit a kid before but they say there's a first time for everything."

"First off, I'm _not_ a kid and secondly; speaking of 'first times' you ever heard of a shower? Or toothpaste?"

"Oh now you're just askin' for it, _kid_."

You, Dean Winchester, have been described as many a thing over the years, however suicidal has never been one of them; A fact that you don't want people questioning. Given the height, size, and quite frankly scariness of the man before you any further comment from you would without a doubt lead to your untimely demise.

Hoping beyond hope that Sammy was still standing behind you, as he had been before you entered the staring contest with the giant in front of you, you utter two words that unbeknown to you at that moment you would say many more times in the days to follow.

"Sammy, run!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Twenty minutes later and the red faced, bicep bulging Arnold Schwarzenegger look-a-like had finally given up trying to catch the two of you. Having spent a lot of time in the sort of places that one would be more likely to meet Pete Doherty in rather than Paris Hilton you were quite used to swearing, cursing and other things that Pastor Jim wouldn't approve of, however the words that had left the trucker's mouth during the last twenty minutes were enough to give you the creepy crawlies.

Noticing a dinner up ahead you nudge Sammy with your shoulder and point towards the rather dingy looking place. The enthusiastic back and forth nodding was a clear "yes" in your professional opinion.

You smile and nod your head in greeting at the few guests that turned around upon hearing the bell ring when the door opened. Sammy being Sammy raced for the nearest booth and plonked himself down.

"That was a close call Dean."

"Ya think?"

"I can't believe you said all that stuff to him, I mean you talk to everyone like that but that guy was _huge_. Weren't you scared?"

Hell yeah!

"Nahh, takes more than fifty year old muscle to scare the likes of Dean Winchester. Besides… will ya look at that, hot damn."

"Huh?"

"Waitress, 3 o'clock."

"She's pretty."

"Pretty? Dude she is smokin'."

"She's also _way_ out of your league."

"Excuse me? She totally isn't."

"Totally is."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is…"

"Would you too gents mind stopping your flirting session for a minute so that I can take your order?"

Slightly taken aback by the comment and also the fact that she had managed to sneak up on you, you simply stare open mouthed at the beauty before you. Sammy's giggling quickly brings you back down to earth and you put on your best Dean Winchester smile as you reply.

"Two coffees, one black, one with cream and sugar and two burgers with everything and extra onions."

"Okie dokie, comin' right up."

"Don't even think about it Dean."

"Think about what?"

"About commenting on the fact that she said "okie dokie". For the last time; it does _not_ make her your soul mate."

Ah yes, Janet Beaves.

"Don't know what you're talking about Sammy."

"Oh yeah that's right you didn't say 'soul mate' you said she was the love of your life."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did –"

"Flirting again, I see."

You recover a bit faster from her sudden appearance this time.

"Sweetheart if I was flirting you would know it."

"Uh huh. Who has the coffee with cream?"

"That would be for Francis over here."

She quickly places the cups down on the table and turns to leave.

"Excuse me."

"Yes."

"Tell me, do you believe in love at first sight or would you like me to walk past again?"

Smooth, very smooth.

You watch the slight blush creep up her neck and over her face as she unsuccessfully attempts to hide her smile.

"I finish at five."

"I'll see you at one minute past then."

She giggles and walks over to the newest customer, taking his order.

"You are unbelievable Dean."

"So I've been told."

"I can't believe you dare use that line after what happened last year."

"Once again Sammy I dunno what you're talking about."

"Oh sure, as if your ego could ever forget _that_."

Of course you hadn't forgotten. How could you ever forget? Your recently used pick-up line had been your most successful up until _she _came along. She being a certain Jane Doe from Massachusettes, She had smiled at you seductively, leaned forward in an attempt (a successful one at that) to show her cleavage and told you that you were more than welcome to walk past her as many times as you wished however the only thing you would get would be a cramp.

That ladies and gentlemen is how to ruin the mood. Granted she had been in her middle twenties and you were still a teenager but still, how could anyone resist- this? The fact that she had walked across the bar and started snogging another woman hadn't made you feel the least bit better either.

"Earth calling Dean, come in please."

"Very funny Sammy."

"Thank you. I did learn from the best."

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"Yeah, Dad can be very funny sometimes."

"Oh ha, ha, ha."

Ugh what you would give to wipe that smirk off….

The next twenty minutes were spent in silence as the two of you eat your burgers and order/eat some pie to follow.

"You boys want me to bring you the check?"

"Not really, but if you insist."

The waitress who's name you still don't know smiles and walks off with your empty plates.

"You did bring your wallet, right Sammy?"

"Why would I bring a wallet, I don't even _have_ a wallet."

"But you have money, right? Sammy, tell me you have money."

"Okay, I have money."

"You do?"

"No."

"Then why did you just – ugh never mind."

"Don't you have any money?"

"Would I be asking you for money if I had some? Ahh scratch that, stupid question."

"Why don't you have money?"

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because I don't want the whole dinner to know we can't pay for our food Dean, duhh."

"Don't 'duhh' me!"

"Well, why the hell not? You didn't bring any money but you happily came in here and ordered food and coffee like it was goin' out of fashion."

"Food's going out of fashion?"

"Totally beside the point Dean."

"Well why didn't _you_ bring any money? I mean let's not go blamin' me for everything."

"You're the older brother!"

"What's your point?"

"You're suppose to have the money and pay, not me! I'm still a kid for Christs sake!"

"Now, now Sammy. There's no need to shout."

"No need to shout? I'm not cleaning dishes to make up for our payment and I'm not going back to the motel to get money 'cause that trucker is probably still waiting there for us. Which by the way; is also _your_ fault."

"That guy deserved all of it. Besides it isn't my fault that he's so touchy feely."

"Touchy feely? You called a grown man a Grandpa and accused him of not showering."

"All right, I admit that may have been a tad over the top but just a smidgen."

"A smidgen?"

"Sammy, do you trust me?"

_Silence._

"Sammy?"

"Yes, I trust you."

"Good. You see the door?"

"Yes."

"Run!"

* * *

_AN: Thanks for reading! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Sooo... it's been a while. *cough* I finished posting this over on snville ages ago and completely forgot that I had posted here aswell. *hides behind sofa* Sorry! _

Chapter 3

„Dean, I can't go any further. I need a break."

You can't believe him. He is un-friggin-believable. How can he not have any money?! He's supposed to be looking after you. Ha. 'Suppose to be' being the key words, honestly, it's _you_ that does the looking after. All the times he gets himself in trouble, whether it be on a hunt or during a poker game with the local mob boss that doesn't like to lose, it's always _you_ that patches him up, _you_ that holds gauzes on his wounds until they stop bleeding, _you _that helps cover up his hangover so that dad doesn't find out that he sneaked out to go to a bar the night before. _You, you, you._

"There's three cop cars, one pissed off diner owner- with a baseball bat might I add- and a lovesick waitress in heels after us and you want to take a tea break?!

"Don't get pissed with me Dean. You are the one that took me to a diner and ordered and ate food before -whoops a daisy- realizing that you can't pay for it, you are the one that decided to make a run for it instead of staying and telling the truth, you are the one that wanted to get into the waitress' pants - not me!"

_Silence._

You watch him, standing there a few feet in front of you, breathing heavily and sweating slightly from the fifteen minute run the two of you had just completed. You try looking into his eyes, you may only be a teenager but you know your brother in and out and the only place he can't hide his emotions is in his eyes, He can however hide his eyes, like now, his head is slightly bent down and his lips remain sealed.

"Are you gonna answer me Dean?"

"You didn't ask me a question."

"Gahh! You're so bloody annoying sometimes."

"Sometimes? Only sometimes? Christ, I must be losing my touch."

"Do you ever take anything seriously Dean?"

"As a general rule I try not to. I'm more a 'glass is half full' kinda person."

"Well it's a shame that your brain is half empty then, isn't it? Besides glass half full just means that you look on the bright side of life, it doesn't have anything to do with taking things seriously."

"Ouch. How long have you had that one cooped up in that little head of yours, just waiting for the right time to say it? Cause I'm impressed for someone your age you have quite a – shall we say- charming vocabulary."

Charming vocabulary. He's takin' the piss. Despite only just being a teenager your damn proud to say that you have ten times the IQ he does, hell a brick wall has a higher IQ than him. Well, so you assume, it's not as if Dean ever gives you any reason to doubt your assumption.

"You still with me princess or have you floated off to Neverland?"

He really can't stand silence, can he?

"You watched Peter Pan?"

"No, _you_ did. _I_ got screamed at for tryin' to change the channel. Which reminds me, did I ever tell you that you scream like a girl?"

Yeah Dean, all the time. But that's okay.

"Yes, you always have had a way with compliments."

"Wait. There was a compliment in there somewhere…… nope, I got nothin'. Besides you know I like you really Sammy…"

"Don't call me that."

"Kid, I've been callin' you Sammy since you were four years old."

"Well then don't you think that it's time for a change?"

"Change? Absolutely. I love change, prefer notes but change is good too – money's money after all."

"Funny."

"Why thank you. But seeing as were on the subject of change, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? I mean that mop on your head that you call hair is seriously creepy."

"I like my hair."

"I'm sure you do but maybe not as much as the birds that nest in it."

"There _aren't_ any birds!"

"Yeah there are. I'm pretty sure I heard a squeaky voice say 'I tought I taw a putty tat'."

"Oh that's, that's very funny Dean. Does that mean that you're Sylvester in this little fantasy of yours?"

"Depends, do I get to be the assassin? Cause I gotta say the boxer just didn't do it for me."

"It's times like these when I seriously doubt your sanity."

When on earth does he have time to watch all these films? He's either hunting, gambling/playing pool, picking up girls or having completely unproductive arguments (such as this one) with you, Hell, you can't even remember what started this one.

"One of these days I'm gonna wash that mouth of yours out with a bar of soap. When did you turn into such a smart ass anyhow?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe hanging around with you has something to do with it."

"Nice to know that I taught you something, I suppose."

"Yeah. Hey, maybe in the next lesson should be on how to order and eat food that you know you can't pay for. Cause I tell ya, you sure as hell know your way around that subject."

Ah ha. Now you remember what started this whole ping pong match of sarcastic, stupid and occasionally funny comments. After all credit where credit is due, that Sylvester comment was kinda funny.

"Or, how about I teach you how to shut your pie hole?"

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Let's not forget that it was your pie hole that got us in this whole mess to begin with."

"Don't start that again."

"Why not Dean? You're supposed to be the older brother here; you're supposed to use the filter between your brain and your mouth so that you think before you talk."

"I do think before I talk thank you very much. You think it's easy coming up with such hilarious, charming remarks all the time?"

"Trust me Dean; no one would ever suspect what comes out of your mouth to be thought out. And where exactly do you get the idea from that you're charming and hilarious?"

"Un-be-lievable. I knew you didn't see my inner qualities, you only like me for my looks, don't you? Wait, don't answer that you'll only ruin the moment even more so than you already have."

Aaargh!!!!!!!!

"What moment?!"

"See, there you go, You always raise your voice Sammy. For someone of such young a age you have got some serious anger issues. But that's beside the point, let's get back to the original topic; to which I would like to say that _you_ Samuel Francis Winchester are the one that ran out in front of the car, thus causing this whole debacle."

"I did not."

"Dude, you totally did."

"I totally did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

_Silence._

"Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean."

"You don't really scream like a girl I was just pullin' your leg."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."

_Silence._

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy."

"I'm sure a wall doesn't have a higher IQ than you."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"Okaaay."

_Silence._

"So Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean."

"Have you finished your tea break yet? I'm thinkin' it might be time for us to leave, 'cause that guy with the baseball bat is headin' in our direction, pre-tty fast."

"What?"

"Run!"

* * *

_AN: Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

„Put your hands on your heads and turn around, nice and slowly."

Nice and slow? Why return the favor, the idiot was far from slow when he started chasing after the two of you half an hour ago and he was hardly nice when he laughed about the fact that you had accidently ran down an ally that turned out to be a dead end. There was something about this policemen that was giving you a very bad feeling – the kind that you'd usually get rid of by shooting at it but if memory serves the last time you tried shooting a "none dead" person it didn't end to well…

"I said; turn around."

"Actually you said, turn around and put your hands on your heads. Any chance of you makin' up your mind? Cause I'm getting' a little confused."

"Dean, just be quiet before you get us into even more trouble, don't you think you've done enough damage fort the day?"

"Me? Hey, I thought we had this argument already and agreed that it's all been _your_ fault."

"Oh, you wish."

"Ladies! Quit arguing and turn the f*** around."

He did not just call you a lady!!

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to swear in front of children?"

"Turn around! One…"

Ugh, this guy is definitely going on your list of most annoying cops ever. And why do none of them ever understand a little joke? They always get so cranky.

"…Two…"

Did that waitress say that she finished at four or at five o'clock?

"…Three…"

"Okay, okay. Don't get your pants in a twist, we're turnin', we're turnin'."

"You too kid."

"Pssst, Sammy."

"Yeah."

"Turn around."

"Okay Dean."

"Well at least I know your names now, Sammy and Dean."

"Don't call me that!"

Oh yeah, nice time to find your balls Samuel.

"Then what should I call you little man?"

"Call him Susan if it makes you happy."

"Dean!!"

It is beyond easy to wind him up, must remember to talk to him about that. After Columbo over here takes a hike of course.

"What?"

Smile innocently, go on Dean you can do it. If looks could kill you'd be upside down and six feet under round about now.... make that twelve feet under.

"So officer, care to enlighten us on why exactly you've been chasing after us for the last half an hour? We haven't done anything wrong."

"Well then why don't _you_ enlighten me on the reason why you were running away, if you're so innocent…"

Damn he's good.

"First off I never said that we we're innocent. And secondly that's completely beside the point."

"Oh really?"

"Absolutely."

"Let's get straight to the point then; I'm arresting the two of you."

"On what grounds?"

"You fit the description of two teenagers that have been wreaking havoc across the whole town."

"Havoc? No, surely you can't be implying that _we_ would do something like that."

"I'm not implying anything. I'm telling. Amongst other things; offended an elderly truck driver,…"

Elderly?!

"… sexually harassing a waitress,…"

Yeah right, more like the other way around.

"…running out on a bill at the dinner…"

One could hardly call that running. Gracefully exiting the building at lightning speed sounds much more accurate.

"…and last but not least…"

There's more?

"…to top it off we have 'Cruelty to animals'. Mrs. Lawsons cat, Pinky, to be precise."

The question is what's worse; calling that hairy rat a cat or calling it Pinky? Who on earth calls their cat Pinky? Wait! What?! Cruelty to animals! It's hardly your fault that the plooky little thing was lying in the middle of the path that you just happened to have chosen as your get away route. Besides, you only stepped on its tail…

"Pleas officer, do tell me. Did Pinky survive? I don't think I could live with the guilt of killing that poor, helpless animal."

Layin' it on a little thick, ain't ya?

"Don't get smart mouthed with me young man. Now turn the hell around so I can cuff you!"

"Turn this way, turn that way. Have you ever consulted a shrink about your incompetence at making decisions?"

"Turn around now! How's that for a decision?"

Oooh, bossy, bossy.

"Not bad, you're getting there."

"Well isn't that a relief. As gratitude for your oh so wonderful advise I'm going to take you for a ride in the car with all the colored lights on."

Is he patronizing you?

"Really? The ice cream van is here? That's great, I've always wanted to go on one of those."

"I've had about enough of this crap kid, now both of you turn around!"

"What's with all the turning around? We're not modeling anything you know. You sick twisted little man."

"Did you just call me a pervert?"

Is he deaf?

"No. I called you sick and twisted."

"Do you actually think that by insulting me I'm gonna get sick of you and just let you go?"

"I doubt it but if you do then you're even more stupid than I though."

"You just keep goin' kid and I'll keep adding the violations to your list. Resisting arrest for starters…"

"Why don't you add assaulting a police officer to the list aswell."

"And why would I do that? Oh wait. Are you confessing to something?"

Oh that smug smirk will be wiped off your face any minute now, just you wait."

"Sammy, you ready to play Hilts while I'm Rocky?"

"Sure Dean but try not being too long this time."

"Sure thing little bro'."

"What are you two talking about?"

"We we're just betting on how many places I could break the bone in."

"Which bone?"

"The one under that piece of flesh that makes up your nose."

"Huh?"

You take a step forward, make a fist, swing your arm back and then…

_Bang!_

"Sammy, run!"

* * *

_Big thanks to everyone that has been reading, reviewing and to those of you that have favourited this fic or put it on story alert, I hope you all liked this chappie too. :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Kumtria!_

_I don't think there's actually a single sentence in this chapter that isn't dialogue but if you've read anything else I've written then that won't surprise you too much… ;)_

Chapter 5

„If you plan on reaching puberty Sammy then I suggest you get your friggin' ass the hell away from my hand!"

"Get _your _friggin' hand away from my ass, pervert!"

"My hand was there first."

"Seriously?! You wanna play 'I was there first', now?!"

"Now is as good a time as any."

"Like hell it is."

"Now, now, calm down Sammy. Don't go gettin' your pants in a twist."

"There isn't enough _room_ to get my pants in a twist, Dean. Need I remind you of the friggin' dumpster that we're hiding behind?"

"No reminder necessary or a thank you for that matter."

"A thank you? A thank you for what?"

"For draggin' your sorry ass behind this damned thing before the cops saw us."

"Oh well that was real nice of you Dean. Thank you very fucking much."

"You're welcome."

_Silence._

"This is the worst day of my life."

"Now don't go gettin' dramatic, Samantha."

"Dramatic?! We're stuck behind a dumpster, Dean."

"What's your point?"

_Silence._

"There's a couch over there."

"What?"

"There's a couch just there, why couldn't you have dragged us behind that?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Who cares that it's old and tatty at least it isn't a damned dumpster filled up with people's garbage. I mean it _stinks_ back here."

"The only thing that stinks back here is your attitude, princess. I am really sorry that I couldn't take you to a five star hotel suite so you could hide out there but I was kinda preoccupied with tryin' to get away from the damned cops!"

"Well that is _your_ fault, Dean."

"Oh really? How'd you figure that one out?"

"Well, call me crazy but-"

"Crazy."

"Funny."

"Thank you."

"_But _I seem to remember you being the one that punched the cop. Hell Dean, there was so much blood you probably broke his nose."

"Well, yeah, Sammy, breaking his nose was kinda the idea."

"You're unbelievable."

"Why thank you. All though I kinda like it better when it's a girl sayin' it, like right after I've just ki-"

"Eww, eww, eww!"

"Now Sammy, there's nothin' wrong or disgusting about it. It's a completely natural act and once you've done it you sure as hell won't be sayin' eww."

"I don't plan on _ever_ doin' it. Why would I wanna do _that_ with a _girl_?"

"Well unless you'd rather do it with a guy…"

"Dude!"

"Okay, alright, I was just sayin'."

"Well can you 'just say' something that could help us out round about now."

"Sure."

"Cool."

_Silence._

"Hold your nose."

"Huh?"

"You said it stinks – so hold your nose. _That_'s my useful contribution and _don't_ give me the eye-roll."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It's been half an hour, Dean."

"Thank you, Einstein."

"Can we go now? I'm kinda getting' a cramp in an awkward place."

"Quit moanin' princess or I'll give you a _real_ cramp in a _real_ awkward place."

"We could go up the fire escape over there."

"You smellin' smoke, kiddo?"

"No. We could go up to the roof and hide out, they'd never suspect that."

"They wouldn't suspect it 'cause it's a stupid idea and we ain't stupid."

"It's not stupid."

"We'd be sittin' ducks up there, Sammy."

"But you just said yourself that they wouldn't go up there."

"What if they know, we know, that they won't go up there so they go up there and wait for us 'cause they know we'll go up."

"But we know, they know, we know, that they know we wouldn't go up there so we don't go up."

"Sam, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that _that_ did not make a lick of sense."

"Yeah, it confused me too. It still doesn't make it a dumb idea though."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

_Silence._

"Dean."

"Yeah."

"Say something."

"'Kay."

_Silence._

"Some sixty year old in Nashville, got knocked up last week."

"What?"

"I said-"

"I heard. But what does it have to do with us, now?"

"Nothin'. Just makin' conversation, you said I had to say somethin'."

_Silence._

"Sixty?"

"Yup."

"Huh."

"Yeah. I dunno what's freakin' me out more, the thought of some granny walkin' around with a basket ball under her knitted cardigan or the thought of some granny doin' the deed."

"Ugh, Dean! Mental images, gross. Cut it out, man."

"You're right, please forgive me Sammy. How dare I take away your innocence like that, it's like givin' the Virgin Mary the birds and the bees talk. What's the male version of the Virgin Mary?"

"Who."

"What?"

"Who not what."

"Who not what, what?"

"You said what's the male version but you're talking about a person so you have to say who."

"Okie dokie, smarty pants."

"Why are you smiling?"

"I'm not."

"Dean, you totally are."

"It's nothin'."

"Okay, cut it out, Dean. You're scaring me."

"What, why?"

"Dean, we're hidin' behind a friggin' dumpster, you haven't eaten in like two hours which is your version of hell and oh yeah, the _whole_ sheriff's department is out lookin' for us. So, again- why the hell are you smiling?"

"Just 'cause."

"Oh, now I'm really worried."

"Why?"

"'Cause the only time you smile when we're in a situation where somethin' is goin' really wrong is when you've found someone to blame it on."

"First off that's total crap, secondly I don't need to find someone to blame it on and last but not least do you know that what you said rhymed?"

_Silence._

"Dean."

"Huh."

"Please tell me you've got really hairy legs, 'cause I just put my hand on something and I'm really hopin' it's just your legs."

"I'm wearing Jeans, Sammy."

"I was worried that you we're gonna say that."

"Just stay still Sam, no sudden movements, okay?"

"No sudden movements? What the hell is it, Dean."

"For the sake of us both stayin' hidden behind here without the cops finding us I'm gonna choose not to answer that question."

"Oh, God. It's not gonna start eating me is it."

"This ain't a Tarantino movie, Sasquatch. Now cool it. And don't look down."

"Don't look down?! Haven't you seen any movies, Dean? When you tell someone not to look down they _always_ look down."

"Oh, Jim Dandy."

_Silence._

"It's still there isn't it, Dean?"

"No, Sammy. That ringing you heard a couple minutes ago was the mother ship calling it home, Scotty beamed it up a few seconds ago."

"This isn't funny, Dean."

"Oh come on, it's a little funny. A smidgen?"

"No smidgen."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Bitch."

"Damn it, Dean!!!"

"_Hey, Martin, did you hear that? I think that's them, came from the ally down there."_

"Oh shit."

"Don't swear at me, Dean!"

"Zip it Sammy."

"_Yeah, I heard it too, let's get the little bastards."_

"Run!"

* * *

_AN: Thanks for reading! :)_


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